standing in the shadows with the words stuck in my throat...

of me. of you. of everyone else.
coward? half-assed? simply avoidable.
simply deniable. always regrettable.
somehow replaceable. never the same.
of here and now. and sometime before.
chaotic. depression. i'm manic. i'm frantic.
i'm happy as pie. i'm ok. i'm alright.
it's all different. it's all the same.
with the pressures all over. first you're in. then you're out.
then you're in. and always somewhere in between.
constant scramble. such a gamble.
win or lose. which do you choose?
there's hesitation. and separation.
back away from strain and stress.
running fast with such duress.
fear? no. can't be.. i'm fearless you see.
what a lie. so i say. and i just turn away.
can't cope. have no hope.
can't relax... can't let go.
can't let go. can't be free.
it's of you. it's of me.
it's of everyone else around you see.
it's entirely new. it's so boring and old.
and it's always the same. and it's always in vain.
such a struggle. how i juggle.
all these things. with broken wings.
what's stopping you? what's holding you back?
spit it out. cough it up. get this shit on fucking track.
in the sidelines. always quiet. always sleeping. never dormant.
in or out. there's so much doubt.
just run away. too hard to stay.
dunno what i'll find. today. tomorrow.
or ever. or never.
but it's me.
and it's you.
and it's everyone else.
can't deny.
won't reply.
in the end..
we all lose.