Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Heart Rumbles.

still got it. it's here. i feel it right now.
and i'm not even quite that sure how
to tell you, or show you. i'm not good at this
but even through downtimes, you still bring me bliss

i melt. and i glow. and i gush over you
and no matter whatever, i've always been true
to nobody else. not really the same
cuz there's always been good despite of the rain.

you've got me. you've had me for always you see
it's all in your hands just how great this could be
don't question my doubts and my hesitations
cuz i'm only just clearing out waste and frustrations

but please don't forget at the end of the day
that i'd really prefer that it's you who will stay
the beat still sounds loudly, rock steady and sound
still my heart rumbles sweet and so very profound.


Monday, October 22, 2007

Apologies in advance..

mi perdoni
i'm sorry
but i didn't mean to
it's not a choice
that's easy for me
not guilty, yet so guilt-stricken am i
for something that i haven't done
but i can't say that i will not
when it's not for me to choose
and i'm torn between the two
it's not fair, and i despair
over feelings left unsaid
and i'm always playing dead
in fear of grounds i will not tread
but yet it's always in my head
i can't be free
not now.. not here.
and yet i try to make it better
a start again and things anew
we'll patch it up with just some glue

i want it to be..
i want it to be.
i wish it to be.
but still it won't be.

like drug clouded hazes
i'm walking through mazes
and desperately hoping
it leads me to you.

so please help me God
clear my mind from this drug
what's safer. what's saner.
make it better in time.

but i'm sorry for now
and i'm sorry for later
there's no way to fortell what will come
but i need to be true to myself this time around..
and just know that i've always loved you.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

What shall it be my love?

why i gotta be that way
always in dismay
sensitively and distasteful
distrust. mistrust. uncertainty.
you laid it here.
you built this house.
and now it's all around me now.
can't shake this feeling
why are we dealing
it's never quite the same you know
it pulls me left
and sometimes right
and rarely in the middle
i can't see on the other side
and it's making me feel sick
sick at heart
sick in mind
though i don't mind..
no, not right now
and maybe later
i'll change my mind.
but what's the gameplan?
cuz i don't know
whether i'll stay
or if i'll go.
and if it's meant for someone else
and another time
that isn't now.
but i can't decide
and you make it harder
for me to choose
when you chase wild cards
leaving me behind
cuz that's what it is
when the light grows dim
should i owe you more?
cuz i don't think so.
and i won't quite show
never giving in
and this isn't stuck
like glue. or cement.
it's unstapled and it's loose
cuz that's just how you choose
and i will not lose.
but you never show me
permanence and something real
i need a figure
of strong proportions
standing strong and stable
against all odds..
isn't that what they say?
is that how it goes?
and yet i have no real ideas
or any answer
so we play this waiting game
and it's sweet
and it's love
and it's so much fun sometimes
and it's not anchored to the floor
and now i'm left drifting off once more.
so please be quick
please be soon.
i'm growing tired of this fix
and choose a way
be it here or there.
and stick to it
don't stray from it
cuz i'm losing grasp
can't seem to catch
my breath from all this hazy mess
and i fear i just might fall right off
and lose you from that heightened spot
for good, forever more
and wiped out right inside the core...
but i'm just thinking loudly
a girl with silly feelings
but i always play forkeeps..
and now it's time for sleep.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Depth of a feeling.

deeper than i think, making my heart sink
tugging my heart's strings, shouldn't think these things
way too close to me, and the only thing i see
try too hard to push away, though i want so bad to stay
not for me.. not at all, still i always seem to fall
wish you'd say it, or maybe you could quit
genuine or evil ploys, you never know with certain boys
if only i were much more wise, then i'd know to cast you aside
still i ponder every night, still i seem to hold on tight
onto nothing never there, just a glance .. a touch.. a stare
you leave me hanging dry, foolish me who's left to cry
i don't know what i see, i wish to God to be set free
of what seems to bind, and what i cannot find
which i seem to search in you, for something sound and true
not sure what it is, but you seem to have it kid
and you've taken me by storm, and now i'm worse than before
and silly me for being here, but silly you for staying near
i know you know the half if it, cuz i told you like a drunken twit
stumbling in my own mistakes, i just have so much at stake
but it's too much to handle, and you're too much of a gamble
when i know it's not the same, when i feel it's just your game
stuck in the same place, running always the same race
and it's still you, and i'm still blue
crazy to try, left here to sigh
but it's deeper you see, now it's too late for me.