Friday, March 20, 2009

it weighs me down.

held back.. off the track
falling off..
with momentary hesitation
what is this pull? why is it here?
and send it far.. away from me
it's like a new world that shines bright
all ahead.. a walk on tomorrow
with constant pauses
once here, and sometimes there
to turn and look
but too much for me
to look at such things
it's hazy and muddled
no matter which day
no matter which time
it still remains
from this first day
of all it was. and never is

and it holds you back
and it throws you off track
i keep falling off.. and off.. and off..

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Elusive to me.

I captured my thoughts today
with ink and a page in my hand
I held it firmly and sealed it fast
I captured my thoughts so well

Your manner oh how it offends
to some, to none, but mostly to me
I captured it well on that day
and I wrote it all down with a pen

These circles are wide that we make
that keep turning round with such grace
but they've captured your eye you see
and it's taken you out, far from me

I'd capture your heart if I could
I'd hold it and tear it apart
with many a day spent on wishes and kisses
I'd capture you all just for me.

[March 18th, 2009.]


The obvious oblivious tale of fate.

This fits in here, but it won't go in
Not so neat & tidy anymore
Made one by one, but it's too far gone
None makes much senses in your head
Both hand in hand, such perfection here
Yet all is muchly ignored
For this here truth may be rightly told
Much rather complicate things

One and this one must add up somehow
this here equation is correct
But best to ignore all that's obvious now
cuz temptation has much bigger eyes
All that exists to align in this time
seem made perfectly somehow
But gone is the sight and all logic by now
and away with us writing our fate...

[March 18th 2009]


Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Past to Present.

i choose this song, this song for you
i choose it now and not for long
i chose it how i know it best
for every single right and wrong

i feel this way for now i do
i feel it just the way they say
i felt it hard, for real this time
with every price i've had to pay

i see these words that play on here
i see the way they write my pain
i saw the day that all was gone
with nothing learned, not much to gain

i know now what i do is wrong
i know the way i've carried on
i knew it all along perhaps
but now it's done and far long gone

i think that now i'll do this thing
i think it's time i change my gaze
i thought i always knew the way
but i've been here and lost for days

i will be strong enough this time
i will be fighting as i smile
i was behind for far too long
and dragged on slowly for a while

i'll dream up bigger dreams this time
i'll dream a bright and coloured scene
i've dreamt of fiction for too much time
and now it's time i dream for me.

Monday, March 16, 2009


a fog .. such a haze
cutting through, not these days
feeling stifled, cannot breathe
there's too much to perceive
such a mess, i can't see
never more.. never free
never tied to the spot
of the things that i've got
always loose and undone
with the worse yet to come
can't hold on to this page
all that's here is my rage
still this drink does entice
been here once, seen it twice
gotta grab hold of something
cuz my seams are unravelling
with your game that you play
another dollar, and one more day
and growing tired with dismay
with this constant hitting of replay
still i'm vexed.. much perplexed
with every word and line and text
i'm oh so tired, getting cold
the scene it's slowly growing old
too lost within, i can't get out
pulling me in, infused with doubt
of anything that's ever true
something borrowed, bound & blue
of lies, deceit and foul play
and nothing here to make me stay
it makes no sense no longer here
it really is as it appears
but more and often hidden parts
that take up space within our hearts
i can't feel it no more
i don't see what it's for
can't look into this door
when i'm tired and so worn
so keep it away
don't want you to stay
cuz what's worth a chance
when you can't even dance
so tired of these ways
can't count on these days
i've lost track of time
of these long drawn heart crimes
i can't see anymore
i'm way down on the floor..
i'm so tired of these days
i'm so tired of these ways...
i'm so tired of much dismay..
i need to find a better way.

Friday, March 6, 2009

three times three.

flutter. feel. and see this here
of all the things that come this year
that bring it closer and much more near

focusing on what's to come
the steady beat if this here drum
begins with just one gentle strum

of fingertips so softly placed
it leaves with me a strange new taste
no time to stop, nor time to waste

when first there was a wicked mess
with way too much mental distress
i start to want it less and less

for whatever reason there was before
i see it now as such an eye sore
and quite frankly, an even bigger bore

there are no more seams to mend
and no longer reasons to pretend
when one can see.. we've reached the end

but not the end, for all you see
because it's still a brand new start for me
and all of that which may just be

and even though i don't know all
it's better to walk, though you may fall
no use in trying to slow or stall..

cuz ... a smile brightens up the day
just perhaps it has come to stay.
...and I know now all will be okay.

~ giusi.B

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Undeniably denied.

it seeps from the grounds below our feet
and sinks into my very soul
and mirrors fog, the windows stain
from wretched pistol smoke

my, what fine things you have, she says
they sparkle, then shine, they do
it glares from ahead, looking bright with deceit
time to sound the alarms, time to dread

the shudders, are loud
can't you hear them so clear?
the shiver is following now

as i ask what you see
can't you feel? can't you read?
it's all a joke for no one can perceive

your strut is a farce
your face, how you glimmer
with sadness and plenty of lies

a tower of power
with weakening beams
that threaten to crash down on you

my stomach it turns with a rage that consumes
overpowering all that can be, all is true
and no matter, no use in denying this toll
you succumb to which ever reaction it brings

all pretend and ambition with false parting words
no use trying to play parts with compassion
it's a dance here you see, weaving in, sometimes out
and i've stopped prancing in these distractions.

no more time here or there
can't forgive, you're all bare
time to go, time to leave it behind

it's a lie, i feel sick
it's abuse, call it quits
can't control, it's all me, not this time

how i feel, doesn't matter
how you feel, go to hell
couldn't care, it's a fact who you are

cannot hide all those reasons
show it loud, shout your pride
it's a shame how you toss it about

still i walk away wounded from battles that never were
and never will, never have and never shall be
it is a door kept ajar.. but was never meant to open
so, shut it now... and seal it closed once and for all

felt like the sickening sound of scraping nails against the board
and every pain and every hurt, it all the time was always mine
and never once was it a concern that came within an inch of you
so leave it be.. i'll slide away.... and fade away from this old story.

[ ~G.B ]