Wednesday, October 17, 2007

What shall it be my love?

why i gotta be that way
always in dismay
sensitively and distasteful
distrust. mistrust. uncertainty.
you laid it here.
you built this house.
and now it's all around me now.
can't shake this feeling
why are we dealing
it's never quite the same you know
it pulls me left
and sometimes right
and rarely in the middle
i can't see on the other side
and it's making me feel sick
sick at heart
sick in mind
though i don't mind..
no, not right now
and maybe later
i'll change my mind.
but what's the gameplan?
cuz i don't know
whether i'll stay
or if i'll go.
and if it's meant for someone else
and another time
that isn't now.
but i can't decide
and you make it harder
for me to choose
when you chase wild cards
leaving me behind
cuz that's what it is
when the light grows dim
should i owe you more?
cuz i don't think so.
and i won't quite show
never giving in
and this isn't stuck
like glue. or cement.
it's unstapled and it's loose
cuz that's just how you choose
and i will not lose.
but you never show me
permanence and something real
i need a figure
of strong proportions
standing strong and stable
against all odds..
isn't that what they say?
is that how it goes?
and yet i have no real ideas
or any answer
so we play this waiting game
and it's sweet
and it's love
and it's so much fun sometimes
and it's not anchored to the floor
and now i'm left drifting off once more.
so please be quick
please be soon.
i'm growing tired of this fix
and choose a way
be it here or there.
and stick to it
don't stray from it
cuz i'm losing grasp
can't seem to catch
my breath from all this hazy mess
and i fear i just might fall right off
and lose you from that heightened spot
for good, forever more
and wiped out right inside the core...
but i'm just thinking loudly
a girl with silly feelings
but i always play forkeeps..
and now it's time for sleep.

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