Again and again this feeling...

so long.. so long.. so much time. from there to here.

yet i'm still drawn. going back.. and then forth..

constantly revisiting the scene of the crime.

no control. no way to know. just keep on moving.

with an occasional visit. to the time of back then

back when. with this feeling left.. i'm not feeling fine.

when you keep going round and around on the same ride

you have to hold on tight to keep from falling off.

and you hold on with your dear life. and even when thrown off.

you'll get right back on it.

with a feeling that sickens your stomach.

ahhhh.. such ecstasy.

like a cheap drug induced high.

now everything is perfectly imperfect again.

perfectly disasterous.

perfectly insane.. so perfectly rocky.

how long do you endure the ride?

and what if..... you're like me

and you decided.

you decided.

after you've had enough.

enough of the uncertainty. and the sicknesss. and you grow so tired..

and it aches. it aches too much.

but maybe i'm not better off. and maybe i will never know.

cuz i chose something else.

i chose to get off at the next stop.