i'm not sure of you.
i'm not sure of me.
i'm not really sure of anything really.
i have no clue
why i feel how i do.
why i toss and i turn
and i lay awake still.
i can't seem to figure
out reasons for feelings
i can't make some sense
from the tears that keep coming
for as long as i can remember
it's always been the same
but what is it that i'm looking for
and what is it that i want?
is it even you? or never was.
was it me? and just because
i wanted desperately the perfect plan
of what i want and need in a man
I know i make no sense
i hardly understand myself
trying to pinpoint the moment
when it all began
a life of daydreams.
waiting for something.
not knowing what that something is.
not knowing when i started waiting.
not knowing why i even wanted to.
not knowing when i can say i've found it.
and so i blah blah blah some more over here.
and i'll carry it on til the morning next week.
with a little something of nothing to say how i feel.
just to know if what's wanted could ever be real.
just to wait and to think. and to think far too much.
just to hold on to thoughts. they're my light. they're my crutch.
i don't know how to carry it on
sans the idealistic views
because it's all i know