Undone.

it's like the same
for every thing
and when i reach this point
it all starts to spin
and i dive head first
to the ground in a panic
with all that surrounds me
and i'm feeling quite manic
getting high on such magic
finally reaching good feeling
but i grind to a halt
and completely start reeling
what is it that happens
when all starts to make sense
when the dust starts to settle
and when i'm not feeling so tense
what comes into play here
that turns on this switch
making me frantic, i'm anguished
driving straight into this ditch
maybe i'm scared
and maybe i'm lost
and maybe i'm not ready
to put out for the cost
of losing myself
once more over again
cuz it's maybe not worth
anything, not now and not then
who's sure of the reasons
that send me down this road
of repeating once overs
even though i've been told
let go of what's been
and move on in a line
and forget what's been done
and unravel this bind
but it's easier said
than done that's for sure
cuz it's too hard to manage
a heart that's so pure
but i'm tryin.. i'm pushin
towards forward on ahead
and it's better than quitting
staying still, playin dead
and no matter how much
that i know it's been gone
and no matter how far
and how vile, and how wrong
despite having known
that it's better this way
there's no way of escaping
it's the price that i pay
when you try to let go
and forget what's been past
it was never what's right
never would ever last
when all that's left here
isn't even what's real
they're just lingering roots
of some traumatic ordeal
when you don't know the why
or the how's of such things
of why do we grasp tightly
cutting off our own wings
and we bury ourselves
with the pain of before
staying still in one spot
never wanting much more
but it's not what i want
and nor what i choose
it's a spell i must break
cuz there's too much to lose
i'm aware of this sickness
that seems to emcompass
all that sits here within me
thrown into this abyss
yet i plan out my days
with a much brighter view
and perhaps a new vision
of me and of you
but it's hard to imagine
something real and so stable
when i've always been habit
to this game on this table
of card tricks and illusions
all this lust and mistrust
but it's all gone away
and it's all turned to rust
still, i'll plow on straight through
with desire so strong
and these days pass so quickly
but the nights are still long
of a dream yet to finish
and a day still to pass
because you were never the first
and not even the last
i'll see that this road
rolls out on to and end
and i'll pick the next turn
when i come to that bend
cuz i'm through with fixation
and this cage i'm within
and it's time to forget
all these places i've been
it's time to erase
all these pictures i see
and it's time to turn off
this dark dreary memory
and a promise of a future
better, brighter.. longer still
cuz it's obvious from now on
most of all is now downhill
from overcoming much of this
and living through the bulk of this
i see there's nothing here to hold me
and even less here that i miss
so break the mould, and erase
this book you put up on this shelf
and now it's finally time
to set me free.. release myself.

[ ~G.B. ]