hostility. insensitivity. manic state of panic.
and everything it makes me swirl and overloaded frantic
insecurity of having you. insecurity of staying true.
and keeping you is just a game i always tend to lose
pushing further. just keep out. don't come too close now
when it's my love on the line.. i send it crashing to the ground
hostility. it's nothing new. nothing new to you.
stability is something vague that never seems to follow through
and still it captures all that's been and all that's now and here
and still i see the things i do. and all i feel i fear.
swelling up, cuz pride is big.. and even bigger is this pain
when all in all it's just another thing that's lost. nothing left to gain
hostility. my one true love. the way i've always known it best
and send them running far and scattered out just like the tired rest
just like a cat. caught in a cage. and lashing out with pointed claws
withdrawing is the only way. and being warey of that dreadful pause
of in betweens and ponderings. and knowing not of what's in store..
but hostility it rescues me and fails me so.. and leaves me worse off than before.
[ ~G.B ]