Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Most Honest Clarity.

It's funny how from time to time.. you set the glasses down
and suddenly the air, it clears and all the dust it seems to settle
and viewing things that once were cloudy, once were all just muddled
have seem to come so crisp and clear and clean of all distractions

engulfed in such a savage war for years that tired and wasted
every ounce of me.. of soul and mind and being and all that's lasted
of a tug of war, who's right? who's wrong? and endless back and forth
a battle ground that's soaked in blood. and tears from all that's happened

in battle mode, the armour's up.. and teeth and nails come out
you scream, you scratch, you wail and cry and shout your battle cry
no time for clarity and honest actions when defenses are all up
no time to near, no time to feel and witness your own fool actions

of pointing fingers left and right. of blaming all profoundly
i set the tone with lies and tales that only end things badly
of losing sight of basic things and burying all that you have mastered
and now the greatness of it all is lost within this pitiful performance

but it's time to set the daggers down.. and time to drop the shields
because it tires out your every limb and thought, to no avail...
it's time to call the troops in and it's time to raise the flag
and it's finally time to tell it all.. and finally time to sail.

i realize that there's no point in drudging up old memories
but i realize the importance of my confessions coming through to you
and i know how hard it must have been to live with such a burden
of my endless expectations of what should, and would and could have been

causing such commotion on a whim when feelings festered here
and tilted it from here to there and rocked the boat so senselessly
of leaning on your shoulder with a stubborness no one could shake
yet trying to maintain that frigidness and isolated cool and calm

when every moment of every day my world was all a-swarm with you
there's nothing, not a single thing that would've changed that any way
no matter who came in and out, they all just lingered casually...
and in denial i set myself up for nothing more than something temporary

perhaps, deep down i was so fixated on the constant war i played
that i never really cared or wanted more from other comrades
that i never really had the time to really want from something else
cuz i smothered myself involuntarily with forever fading romances

But all in all i see today the error of my most cruel ways
of the tongue that lashes out and cuts and burns and bites so viciously
of a hand that strikes so definitely.. and slams the door so loudly
it's easy to relate to how you've become indifferent to my tactics...

Yet, here i stand most honestly today in total view
to speak of my enlightenment and my new found clarity
for no other reason than to jot it down and clean away my messes
that have clogged and jammed up my insides for way too long a decade

And perhaps to even claim out loud that it wasn't only you at times
that shook and tore the seams apart and strangled these two hearts
in every dance there are two players that meet eachother part of the way
and to dance the dance along this way, it surely takes the both of us

there is no rhyme or reason here, just coming forth with buried words
that have never been known to me before and never been found or told
and i lay them here upon a slate of crumped up old faded dreams
in hopes to clear my sanity and end this long drawn comedy.

it overtakes your mind at will and takes you hostage randomly
and never do you have control of where it dares to take you, break you
It overtakes my mind, my Will and leaves me bleeding sensely....
so, time to clot the wound, once all the refuge has cleared out from it.

a weight so heavy, burdened on my shoulders for too long a time
it gently falls onto the ground and breaks off from my tired heart
my tired mind. my tired eyes. my tired feet that have walked so far
replaced now with much clarity and honesty.... it is a war i wage no longer.


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