Tuesday, November 3, 2015

the mask removed.

empty. vacant. hollow.  stark.  barren. dry.  & dark. & bleak
these are just the words i see when i think about what's left of  me

so cunning,, oh your lies.. oh your lies.
i'm shattered and i'm broken
and what this has done to me.. has changed me into something new.
into something that i do not even recognize anymore
into something that I do not know
into something that i'm scared of
a fortress of the strongest steel, has now been set around me here.

i recoil at the slightest touch...  i recoil at the thought of you
how demons walk upon this earth, i do not know how these things occur
i've lost my rhyme.. and every reason.
i've lost each part of every season.
i've lost the me that i once knew
it's gone and lost and now i'm screwed.
this pain and agony  i'm living in... just holds me tightly in its grip

and no one sees the light gone out. no one sees how dim its been
no one understands the kind of torture i have seen.
no one gets it quite, you see.
i live this nightmare every day.
of knowing not who or what i am. of what transpired.

the how's .. the why's.. the every part of in between
the mistakes of  magic that leaves you entrapped..
that kills your joy and belief in every possible way.

i hope you are happy with what you have done. I hope this brings you so much joy.
the way in which you have destroyed my soul. the every ounce of me that died and went to hell...
for every day and minute that i spent with you.

my back is turned on you.
no. you don't deserve to have me here
or there.
or anywhere near.

i have nothing left inside.  you took it all. you stole it all.
you ripped it out from inside of me.
you watched me bleed.. you bled me dry.
you did this all to me. you did this all to me!
you watched me die. and you did nothing.
you turned away from my pain.  my sorrow.
my devastation.

how vile can one be? so soulless..
so mean.

so destructive.

so ... you.

you see.. i have walked.., i stumbled.  i crawled upon this garden path
that you have led me on.. right from the very weary start.
this game. this farce. this lie.
just to fill your empty cup with me
just to fill your empty soul with glee..
just to take all of  which you can.
just to siphon me of every ounce of light.. every bit of  bright  that i can muster.
and now.. this is all i have.
all i have are these.
which aren't really anything.
so, you did it. you did this. to me. all of it.  i hope you're proud.  i hope it's what you wanted.
to leave me here so dead and gone.  with only vowels and some consonants.
that sound a bit monotone.. and bleed to nothing once they leave your lips..
just shallow simple tiny words.  that i have left inside my hands
like empty. vacant. hollow.  stark.  barren. dry.  & dark. & bleak
are what's remained and left of me..............................................