What shall it be my love?

why i gotta be that way

always in dismay

sensitively and distasteful

distrust. mistrust. uncertainty.

you laid it here.

you built this house.

and now it's all around me now.

can't shake this feeling

why are we dealing

it's never quite the same you know

it pulls me left

and sometimes right

and rarely in the middle

i can't see on the other side

and it's making me feel sick

sick at heart

sick in mind

though i don't mind..

no, not right now

and maybe later

i'll change my mind.

but what's the gameplan?

cuz i don't know

whether i'll stay

or if i'll go.

and if it's meant for someone else

and another time

that isn't now.

but i can't decide

and you make it harder

for me to choose

when you chase wild cards

leaving me behind

cuz that's what it is

when the light grows dim

should i owe you more?

cuz i don't think so.

and i won't quite show

never giving in

and this isn't stuck

like glue. or cement.

it's unstapled and it's loose

cuz that's just how you choose

and i will not lose.

but you never show me

permanence and something real

i need a figure

of strong proportions

standing strong and stable

against all odds..

isn't that what they say?

is that how it goes?

and yet i have no real ideas

or any answer

so we play this waiting game

and it's sweet

and it's love

and it's so much fun sometimes

and it's not anchored to the floor

and now i'm left drifting off once more.

so please be quick

please be soon.

i'm growing tired of this fix

and choose a way

be it here or there.

and stick to it

don't stray from it

cuz i'm losing grasp

can't seem to catch

my breath from all this hazy mess

and i fear i just might fall right off

and lose you from that heightened spot

for good, forever more

and wiped out right inside the core...

but i'm just thinking loudly

a girl with silly feelings

but i always play forkeeps..

and now it's time for sleep.