A Silent Ending

a silence for two. a silence untrue.
a way without words. not shared and not heard.
a vacancy here. so far and so near.
a way to disclose. confessions not told.
repented and sent it. too late. let's forget it.
a sorrow so deep. of what i can't keep.
nor claim as my own. can't be overthrown.
with lips that are sealed. who knows what is real.
it's tragic. this magic won't get past this static.
the ties that bind. your eyes that are blind.
with no way of telling. and my thoughts so compelling
i must turn away with too much dismay
for it's larger than me... and it's all i can see
crashing down like wave. but i gave.. what i gave
never answered. never seen. never shared. no in betweens.
not a moment. never there.. upon your empty vacant stare
the obvious thrown out. as all rides on doubt
untrust of the past makes it all fail to last
but i can't. so i rant.
and i write while i fight
my own demons of what i'm seeing
and i lose... when i choose
anything other to keep me from bother
of holding on tight to this one single light.
that glows brighter still......though it isn't my will.
but to choose is old news
still the same shambled game.

a silence so true. a silence so blue.
a quiet that takes what it takes and that breaks
of not knowing and nor showing
when i sent it well, i meant it
with nothing changed and nothing gained
it weighs a load this tangled road
of nothing there. of this that's bare.
as daydreams grow stale.. and this light it does fail.
when nothing is nothing. and something was always nothing.
it's a waste.. let's make haste
while i turn away here.. and i must now adhere
cuz it's bigger than me... and it's still all i see.
like a fool indeed. dunno how i believed
all this madness... from your sadness
stitch it up nice and tight... seal the doors, then turn right
go on through. don't look back... find a way right off this track.
a lie's still a lie though it's told oh so sly...
and i was tricked by my mind so thick
delusion over reason. imagine it with feeling.
wrap it and adorn it. paint it up and then hang it
but seeing is believing.. and i just ain't seeing.
what one thinks they do see. and you can't disagree.
but i'm lit and i'm on, with my mind overthrown
and it rambles on and on... with hopes and wishes that i'm wrong.
though it's not. i can see... some things just aren't meant to be.
and i'm not strong.. to stay along..
to ride this car along my star.
no, i'm not that tough.. and it's just not enough
decisions are made. to rest it's been laid

to silently choose, to silently lose
cuz i just cannot cope holding on to this hope
while it's all just pretend; i can't be your friend.
cuz i lie when i smile.. and i'll always stay awhile
entertain my own fancy.. while it's not what they all see
cowardly hidden back away.. without a single word to say
i speak in rhyme to pass the time
and coast along the lines of every song
with nothing left to say... this clearly ain't the way.
we choose what we do.. we choose not to lose
we silently stumble so we don't have to tumble
we silently lose.. even though we don't choose
to choose at this cost... over all that we've lost.
a silence i chose. a silence through prose
a silently choice of what i just cannot voice
with so silent words in lines and in verse
to choose that i turn. just so that i don't burn
find another clear way, one on which i will stay
a permanent solution, to a crippling diversion
i choose what's new. that's far from you.
i choose to walk... instead of talk
i choose in silence... wanting off this fence
of illusions that i make... with such havoc i create.
too much here to lose. this is all left to choose.
a silence for two. a silence untrue.
a silence we choose. as we silently lose.

[ ~ g.b ]

Fickle False Reality

fickle, fiendish, unfriendly foe
is neither here nor where i go
of much to fake and falsify
and all's just lies and lies and lies
of climbing ropes to reach the top
just trip them up and do not stop
it's not the means and nor my end
to join this league , translucent trend
where depth and substance matter most
seems like it's lost, become a ghost
when all in all we're all the same?
though never was i in this game
of which i cannot comprehend
where all the faces just pretend
and smile, just smile on my friend
so long as it gets you ahead
of kissing here and there to move
and rubbing elbows just to prove
your name in lights is sumpin special
and that cheer just sends you in a lull
of vacant, numb and empty souls
that sleep with sheep, and run with bulls
it's neither i, nor never was
the way i'd want, not just because
it's more, it's far much more for sure
though all get caught into its lure
i cannot follow all so blindly
and get behind that wheel behind me
cuz it's fickle, false reality
it's neither never nor will be
it's not the way i choose to see
so all that's left, is only me.

[ ~G.B ]

Starting to Separate

it's starting to break
it's starting to take
it's finally starting
to separate
i'm not trying to fake
or trying to wake
with this dreadful feel
that i've learned to hate
and no matter how late
that i change up this fate
and these lessons i learn
from mistakes i will make
but it's started to break
and i know it will take
cuz it's now finally
started to separate.

[ ~G.B ]

I can't find the words...

i feel like writing..
but i have no thoughts
i feel like saying
but it won't come out
i feel like telling
but it's not my turn
when i've done my part
and it all seems lost

i feel like changing
but it's not time yet
i feel like waking
up from this foul mess
i feel like choosing
but i'm only losing
to these constant mazes
that surround my phases

i feel like reaching
out towards what's there
i feel like holding
on to what's not there
i feel like grasping
but i'm only latching
onto false remainders
of these bitter endings

i feel like breaking
from this tired page
i feel like stepping
off onto this ledge
i feel like yelling
far too much right now
but i can't make a sound
when you're not around...

[ ~ G.B ]

- july 19th, 2009.

Of Stone and Sleep and Fabled Tales...

sleepless nights
with flurried dreams
take up more time
than it seems

bound to this
so tightly i'm wound
without a chance
to turn it around

cannot escape
it's bigger than me
and even at times
it is all i can see

so, i cast all aside
and drift off alone
cuz it's all i can do
with this heart turned to stone...

[ ~G.B ]

Goodnight.

when darkness falls
upon these sheets
and all that lays
here by my feet
when i'm broken down
and lost, i'm beat
when all that's left
is such defeat

cuz it's hard to see
through clouded air
when you cannot see
what's really there
and though i'll claim
how all's unfair
i wish i'd be
without a care

cuz mostly now
i'm just right here
and always will be
very near
and always will i
shed a tear
when thinking 'bout
what brought me here.

and sleep it comes
when it will come
and now this day
is far from done
and we're walking tall
this to and from
and it's easier
for sure, for some..


goodnight. goodnight.
from tired restless minds
and souls alike.
with sleep and dreams upon my head
i wish thee now
goodnight.
goodnight.

Most Honest Clarity.

It's funny how from time to time.. you set the glasses down
and suddenly the air, it clears and all the dust it seems to settle
and viewing things that once were cloudy, once were all just muddled
have seem to come so crisp and clear and clean of all distractions

engulfed in such a savage war for years that tired and wasted
every ounce of me.. of soul and mind and being and all that's lasted
of a tug of war, who's right? who's wrong? and endless back and forth
a battle ground that's soaked in blood. and tears from all that's happened

in battle mode, the armour's up.. and teeth and nails come out
you scream, you scratch, you wail and cry and shout your battle cry
no time for clarity and honest actions when defenses are all up
no time to near, no time to feel and witness your own fool actions

of pointing fingers left and right. of blaming all profoundly
i set the tone with lies and tales that only end things badly
of losing sight of basic things and burying all that you have mastered
and now the greatness of it all is lost within this pitiful performance

but it's time to set the daggers down.. and time to drop the shields
because it tires out your every limb and thought, to no avail...
it's time to call the troops in and it's time to raise the flag
and it's finally time to tell it all.. and finally time to sail.

i realize that there's no point in drudging up old memories
but i realize the importance of my confessions coming through to you
and i know how hard it must have been to live with such a burden
of my endless expectations of what should, and would and could have been

causing such commotion on a whim when feelings festered here
and tilted it from here to there and rocked the boat so senselessly
of leaning on your shoulder with a stubborness no one could shake
yet trying to maintain that frigidness and isolated cool and calm

when every moment of every day my world was all a-swarm with you
there's nothing, not a single thing that would've changed that any way
no matter who came in and out, they all just lingered casually...
and in denial i set myself up for nothing more than something temporary

perhaps, deep down i was so fixated on the constant war i played
that i never really cared or wanted more from other comrades
that i never really had the time to really want from something else
cuz i smothered myself involuntarily with forever fading romances

But all in all i see today the error of my most cruel ways
of the tongue that lashes out and cuts and burns and bites so viciously
of a hand that strikes so definitely.. and slams the door so loudly
it's easy to relate to how you've become indifferent to my tactics...

Yet, here i stand most honestly today in total view
to speak of my enlightenment and my new found clarity
for no other reason than to jot it down and clean away my messes
that have clogged and jammed up my insides for way too long a decade

And perhaps to even claim out loud that it wasn't only you at times
that shook and tore the seams apart and strangled these two hearts
in every dance there are two players that meet eachother part of the way
and to dance the dance along this way, it surely takes the both of us

there is no rhyme or reason here, just coming forth with buried words
that have never been known to me before and never been found or told
and i lay them here upon a slate of crumped up old faded dreams
in hopes to clear my sanity and end this long drawn comedy.

it overtakes your mind at will and takes you hostage randomly
and never do you have control of where it dares to take you, break you
It overtakes my mind, my Will and leaves me bleeding sensely....
so, time to clot the wound, once all the refuge has cleared out from it.

a weight so heavy, burdened on my shoulders for too long a time
it gently falls onto the ground and breaks off from my tired heart
my tired mind. my tired eyes. my tired feet that have walked so far
replaced now with much clarity and honesty.... it is a war i wage no longer.


[~G.B]

Hostility.

hostility. insensitivity. manic state of panic.
and everything it makes me swirl and overloaded frantic
insecurity of having you. insecurity of staying true.
and keeping you is just a game i always tend to lose
pushing further. just keep out. don't come too close now
when it's my love on the line.. i send it crashing to the ground


hostility. it's nothing new. nothing new to you.
stability is something vague that never seems to follow through
and still it captures all that's been and all that's now and here
and still i see the things i do. and all i feel i fear.
swelling up, cuz pride is big.. and even bigger is this pain
when all in all it's just another thing that's lost. nothing left to gain


hostility. my one true love. the way i've always known it best
and send them running far and scattered out just like the tired rest
just like a cat. caught in a cage. and lashing out with pointed claws
withdrawing is the only way. and being warey of that dreadful pause
of in betweens and ponderings. and knowing not of what's in store..
but hostility it rescues me and fails me so.. and leaves me worse off than before.


[ ~G.B ]

an open letter to myself.

what is it that you seek this time
and why is it that you hide
what are these things you say my dear
with every time you've cried

what do you want from all out there
what do you need to be
why are those reasons fading fast
and why can't you just be free

is there something you want to have
is there a place you'd rather go
why can't you make your mind up now
what do you want to know

will anything ease your tired mind
and will you ever rest
do you not see beyond the ridge
why can't you just forget

what more do you seek out there
when will you ever pause
and stop fighting for just one day
this tired and poor cause

what is it that you want my love
how can i help you out
cuz i'm tired of this cloudiness
and ways to scream and shout

what can be done to ease this pain
what can be found for you..
when will it be your day my girl
when will it all come true

[ ~G.B ]

Raising this white flag.

always here, with always smiles
wanting you to stay awhile
always here and never there
always so much wear and tear
always seeing sumpin bright
always trying to win this fight
always thinking something new
always feeling all that's true

always being dragged into
but i don't mind, when it's with you
always fears and always thoughts
with every do's and all do nots.
but keeping time with this here beat
and it's always such a special treat
to always find something like this
and it's something i would never miss

cuz it's always better now and then
always knew that in the end
that tomorrow brings a brighter day
and maybe now it's here to stay
always trying to rid these things
and throwing out these broken rings
of always fading promises
of things that i will never miss

but i always knew, always i did
that i always cowered, i always hid
and always never opened much
was always simply out of touch
and it's always simply trial and error
regardless of this always terror
but i'm always hoping for the best
no longer crippled with regret

[ ~G.B ]

Stuck on a verse.

what sense is this now?
of not comprehending
and how we're pretending
no use in denying that there's still something pending..

how much does it cost?
when i'm all out of money
and you're finding it funny
how we're tossing and turning around this quite plainly

can you please make it stop?
when it takes up all time
and these words that i rhyme
makes me think all in all, this is still such a crime

but i stall as a stammer..
when i'm trying to conceal
just the way that i feel
cuz i fear that it's just one more thing that's not real.

[ ~G.B ]

I found this from long ago.

I wish I hadn't met you, I wish you wouldn't stay
I wish I didn't love you, I wish you'd go away
I wish it wouldn't hurt so much If I were to leave you now
I wish I wasn't quite so delicate I wish I just knew how
To turn my heart around To turn my life around
To leave you now and, To lighten the load
I fall in love so magically I am blind to all your faults
Even when you hurt me, I can't deny my feelings
I wish you weren't so selfish And would for once think of me
I wish you would just open your eyes But I know that you can't see
Just what you do to me, When you deny my feelings
When you expect me to love, You for what you do wrong.
You lie to me You tell me you'll change
I am so tired now, Of your petty little game
So change me, Change me Make me blind
Tear you heart out and then try mine
Change me, Change me Make me see
Just every little thing you do to me

(unknown)

the end of the beginning.

don't believe it
will not see it
cannot see the truth in it
smoke and mirrors
fog and bright lights
i can't even try and trust it
who am i now?
watching closely
hesitate with every step
can't approve it
won't allow this
it's better off if i forget
much deception
lies and tall tales
lure and tender words at play
but i'm broken down
and falling now
and now i see with much dismay
of fancy stories
told of glory
making bubbles in my heart
but i can see that
it's much better
if we do not even start.

[ ~G.B ]

far long gone.

it's hard to turn it off
it's hard to shut it down
it's hard to make it go away
and take away this frown

it's hard to change it now
it's hard to turn the wheel
it's hard to understand it now
it's hard this way i feel

it's much too strong you see
it's much too much for me
it's growing ever rapidly
and i know it isn't free

i cannot stop it now
it's far long gone you see
and it hurts me much too much
and now it's far too late for me...


[ ~G.B ]

Undone.

it's like the same
for every thing
and when i reach this point
it all starts to spin
and i dive head first
to the ground in a panic
with all that surrounds me
and i'm feeling quite manic
getting high on such magic
finally reaching good feeling
but i grind to a halt
and completely start reeling
what is it that happens
when all starts to make sense
when the dust starts to settle
and when i'm not feeling so tense
what comes into play here
that turns on this switch
making me frantic, i'm anguished
driving straight into this ditch
maybe i'm scared
and maybe i'm lost
and maybe i'm not ready
to put out for the cost
of losing myself
once more over again
cuz it's maybe not worth
anything, not now and not then
who's sure of the reasons
that send me down this road
of repeating once overs
even though i've been told
let go of what's been
and move on in a line
and forget what's been done
and unravel this bind
but it's easier said
than done that's for sure
cuz it's too hard to manage
a heart that's so pure
but i'm tryin.. i'm pushin
towards forward on ahead
and it's better than quitting
staying still, playin dead
and no matter how much
that i know it's been gone
and no matter how far
and how vile, and how wrong
despite having known
that it's better this way
there's no way of escaping
it's the price that i pay
when you try to let go
and forget what's been past
it was never what's right
never would ever last
when all that's left here
isn't even what's real
they're just lingering roots
of some traumatic ordeal
when you don't know the why
or the how's of such things
of why do we grasp tightly
cutting off our own wings
and we bury ourselves
with the pain of before
staying still in one spot
never wanting much more
but it's not what i want
and nor what i choose
it's a spell i must break
cuz there's too much to lose
i'm aware of this sickness
that seems to emcompass
all that sits here within me
thrown into this abyss
yet i plan out my days
with a much brighter view
and perhaps a new vision
of me and of you
but it's hard to imagine
something real and so stable
when i've always been habit
to this game on this table
of card tricks and illusions
all this lust and mistrust
but it's all gone away
and it's all turned to rust
still, i'll plow on straight through
with desire so strong
and these days pass so quickly
but the nights are still long
of a dream yet to finish
and a day still to pass
because you were never the first
and not even the last
i'll see that this road
rolls out on to and end
and i'll pick the next turn
when i come to that bend
cuz i'm through with fixation
and this cage i'm within
and it's time to forget
all these places i've been
it's time to erase
all these pictures i see
and it's time to turn off
this dark dreary memory
and a promise of a future
better, brighter.. longer still
cuz it's obvious from now on
most of all is now downhill
from overcoming much of this
and living through the bulk of this
i see there's nothing here to hold me
and even less here that i miss
so break the mould, and erase
this book you put up on this shelf
and now it's finally time
to set me free.. release myself.

[ ~G.B. ]

this is hard.

what is the truth that lays beneath me
when i'm drowning in madness that deafens the soul
when i'm gasping for air and a sense of direction
what is what's real in this world that surrounds me
when my insides collapse with a slight shift in weight
when i don't know what's down on this ground below me
when i can't see through this cloudy fog that angers me
where are all these answers and this way i should go
when i'm feeling withdrawn from this world that i know
and i'm lost with confusion of what i should choose
cuz the answers aren't easy within me, they're covered you see
i'm stumbling blindly and grabbing at roots..
that fall away easily with the littlest touch
where is that next corner that i'm destined to turn
confusion that blinds .. lights that sting.. and sounds that alarm
all is a chaos.. distorted perceptions.. that cloud up your mind
masking the way.. changing the scene.... it's all such a mess..
it pulls you towards nothing.. and pushes you into something
that makes no more sense to you than it did from before
and then after it's worse.. when the characters switch
and the storyline alters.. the settings they change
the props are all different.. but the lines all the same.
i know nothing more today.. than i did yesterday
and it's not anymore clear.. than what i've seen just last year.
and i'm frantically trying to control my pace.. in this race
but i'm falling fast backwards..and i'm losing my stride..
i just need to get there.. to where it may be
where i can see me.. and know me.. and then maybe
i can finally learn and comprehend what it means to be here.

[ ~G.B ]

I have no title for this one.

There was never one time
when i ever did think
that any of it
was ever for me

not one fleeting moment
not even one stare
not mine, never will
you were just never there

so vacant and far
you never did show
it wasn't at all
never said, nothing told

never did feel it
never did know it
it's always been absent
so, i've always been clueless

i'm baffled by most
of these actions i see
cuz it makes no more sense
than the lines that i read

confused by the lack of
and absent attraction
you've now become one of
my most worst distractions

yet i push it away
and i close off all doors
There is no entrance this way
Much worse than what's before.

But i still have no answer
just this pull that grows strong
for whatever strange reason
saying it is here i belong..


[ ~G.B ]


(unfinished work)

Back to you.

it always comes right back to you.
i'm not even sure when it started
and when all thoughts have gone amuck
it makes no difference that we parted

the loss of the time changes nothing
and common distractions are there
but they're never the same of it even
though they're sweet and incredibly fun

of pureness of heart and such sweetness
that longs for my soft tender touch
and wanting to choose what is bestest
seems i'm asking you for far too much..

but no matter how pretty the prospect
no matter how shiney, how new
doesn't matter how much they distract me
it always comes right back to you.

What's this?

too much to write
inspite of this
where one half of him
is half from past
and one half from back
to end. and front
the same in one
and two of them
but yet so different
you can see
from front to end
and back and forth
there may be something
dear, which dear that's there
that i see here
that seems the same
and was in some ways
but still a world apart
and now.. it's in my heart.

Me against the world.

on the ridge
on my own
with this view
mine alone
no one else
not a soul
who can sit
on this ridge
of my own
made of stone
that i've carved out each day
each day that i stayed
and i left.. then i strayed...
but it's here that i lay
on this ridge
that i carved
on my own
made of stone
not a soul, not a shared moment
or a thought, or a tale that's been lost
on this ridge
carved of stone
like a throne
but it's tough
and it's rough
when yer back is towards
the ocean ever wide
against all the rest
of the men of this earth
cornered into this spot
on this ridge
called my throne
now my home
and it's here that I'm stuck
and it's where all is fucked
on my own
all alone
on this ridge
carved in stone
bare as bone
mine alone...

it weighs me down.

held back.. off the track
falling off..
with momentary hesitation
what is this pull? why is it here?
and send it far.. away from me
it's like a new world that shines bright
all ahead.. a walk on tomorrow
with constant pauses
once here, and sometimes there
to turn and look
but too much for me
to look at such things
it's hazy and muddled
no matter which day
no matter which time
it still remains
from this first day
of all it was. and never is

and it holds you back
and it throws you off track
i keep falling off.. and off.. and off..

Elusive to me.

I captured my thoughts today
with ink and a page in my hand
I held it firmly and sealed it fast
I captured my thoughts so well

Your manner oh how it offends
to some, to none, but mostly to me
I captured it well on that day
and I wrote it all down with a pen

These circles are wide that we make
that keep turning round with such grace
but they've captured your eye you see
and it's taken you out, far from me

I'd capture your heart if I could
I'd hold it and tear it apart
with many a day spent on wishes and kisses
I'd capture you all just for me.

[March 18th, 2009.]

~G.B.

The obvious oblivious tale of fate.

This fits in here, but it won't go in
Not so neat & tidy anymore
Made one by one, but it's too far gone
None makes much senses in your head
Both hand in hand, such perfection here
Yet all is muchly ignored
For this here truth may be rightly told
Much rather complicate things

One and this one must add up somehow
this here equation is correct
But best to ignore all that's obvious now
cuz temptation has much bigger eyes
All that exists to align in this time
seem made perfectly somehow
But gone is the sight and all logic by now
and away with us writing our fate...

[March 18th 2009]

~G.B

Past to Present.

i choose this song, this song for you
i choose it now and not for long
i chose it how i know it best
for every single right and wrong

i feel this way for now i do
i feel it just the way they say
i felt it hard, for real this time
with every price i've had to pay

i see these words that play on here
i see the way they write my pain
i saw the day that all was gone
with nothing learned, not much to gain

i know now what i do is wrong
i know the way i've carried on
i knew it all along perhaps
but now it's done and far long gone

i think that now i'll do this thing
i think it's time i change my gaze
i thought i always knew the way
but i've been here and lost for days

i will be strong enough this time
i will be fighting as i smile
i was behind for far too long
and dragged on slowly for a while

i'll dream up bigger dreams this time
i'll dream a bright and coloured scene
i've dreamt of fiction for too much time
and now it's time i dream for me.

Tiresome.

a fog .. such a haze
cutting through, not these days
feeling stifled, cannot breathe
there's too much to perceive
such a mess, i can't see
never more.. never free
never tied to the spot
of the things that i've got
always loose and undone
with the worse yet to come
can't hold on to this page
all that's here is my rage
still this drink does entice
been here once, seen it twice
gotta grab hold of something
cuz my seams are unravelling
with your game that you play
another dollar, and one more day
and growing tired with dismay
with this constant hitting of replay
still i'm vexed.. much perplexed
with every word and line and text
i'm oh so tired, getting cold
the scene it's slowly growing old
too lost within, i can't get out
pulling me in, infused with doubt
of anything that's ever true
something borrowed, bound & blue
of lies, deceit and foul play
and nothing here to make me stay
it makes no sense no longer here
it really is as it appears
but more and often hidden parts
that take up space within our hearts
i can't feel it no more
i don't see what it's for
can't look into this door
when i'm tired and so worn
so keep it away
don't want you to stay
cuz what's worth a chance
when you can't even dance
so tired of these ways
can't count on these days
i've lost track of time
of these long drawn heart crimes
i can't see anymore
i'm way down on the floor..
i'm so tired of these days
i'm so tired of these ways...
i'm so tired of much dismay..
i need to find a better way.

three times three.

flutter. feel. and see this here
of all the things that come this year
that bring it closer and much more near

focusing on what's to come
the steady beat if this here drum
begins with just one gentle strum

of fingertips so softly placed
it leaves with me a strange new taste
no time to stop, nor time to waste

when first there was a wicked mess
with way too much mental distress
i start to want it less and less

for whatever reason there was before
i see it now as such an eye sore
and quite frankly, an even bigger bore

there are no more seams to mend
and no longer reasons to pretend
when one can see.. we've reached the end

but not the end, for all you see
because it's still a brand new start for me
and all of that which may just be

and even though i don't know all
it's better to walk, though you may fall
no use in trying to slow or stall..

cuz ... a smile brightens up the day
just perhaps it has come to stay.
...and I know now all will be okay. :)


~ giusi.B

Undeniably denied.

it seeps from the grounds below our feet
and sinks into my very soul
and mirrors fog, the windows stain
from wretched pistol smoke

my, what fine things you have, she says
they sparkle, then shine, they do
it glares from ahead, looking bright with deceit
time to sound the alarms, time to dread

the shudders, are loud
can't you hear them so clear?
the shiver is following now

as i ask what you see
can't you feel? can't you read?
it's all a joke for no one can perceive

your strut is a farce
your face, how you glimmer
with sadness and plenty of lies

a tower of power
with weakening beams
that threaten to crash down on you

my stomach it turns with a rage that consumes
overpowering all that can be, all is true
and no matter, no use in denying this toll
you succumb to which ever reaction it brings

all pretend and ambition with false parting words
no use trying to play parts with compassion
it's a dance here you see, weaving in, sometimes out
and i've stopped prancing in these distractions.

no more time here or there
can't forgive, you're all bare
time to go, time to leave it behind

it's a lie, i feel sick
it's abuse, call it quits
can't control, it's all me, not this time

how i feel, doesn't matter
how you feel, go to hell
couldn't care, it's a fact who you are

cannot hide all those reasons
show it loud, shout your pride
it's a shame how you toss it about

still i walk away wounded from battles that never were
and never will, never have and never shall be
it is a door kept ajar.. but was never meant to open
so, shut it now... and seal it closed once and for all

felt like the sickening sound of scraping nails against the board
and every pain and every hurt, it all the time was always mine
and never once was it a concern that came within an inch of you
so leave it be.. i'll slide away.... and fade away from this old story.

[ ~G.B ]

Come un soffio di vento

Vorrei passare nel mondo
come un soffio di vento
che accarezza la vita:
senza farsi notare,
senza fare rumore,
solo farsi sentire.

Penetrare nel cuore
dove l'uomo non muore
e nascondersi là:
per godere l'amore,
poi un raggio di sole
là nell'intimità.

E cantare sui prati
sussurrando agli uccelli:
io t'invidio lo sai
per la tua libertà.
E sentirmi volare
proprio dove mi pare
per toccare il mio cielo
e arrivare di là.

Vorrei passare nel mondo
come un soffio di vento
che accarezza i bambini:
far sentire la brezza
di un mattino diverso
in un mondo che muore.

Camminare e parlare
della vita e di tutto
e giocare anche un po':
ed in fondo t'accorgi
che un bambino t'insegna
ciò che tu non sai più.

E cantare sui prati
sussurrando agli uccelli:
io t'invidio lo sai
per la tua libertà.
E sentirmi volare
proprio dove mi pare
per toccare il mio cielo
e arrivare di là.

Vorrei passare nel mondo
come un soffio di vento
che va verso il Signore:
spalancare la vita
sull'eterno presente
che riempie il mio cuore.

Io mi sento disperso
nell'amore di Dio
che non finirà più:
ogni istante è una vita
che io sento infinita,
il mio soffio sei tu.

E cantare sui prati
sussurrando agli uccelli:
io t'invidio lo sai
per la tua libertà.
E sentirmi volare
proprio dove mi pare
per toccare il mio cielo
e arrivare di là...

[ Giosy Cento ]

I'm just a fish in your ocean.

i swam in the deep.. i swam far and long
i swam til the shore was so lost and so gone
i swam fairly quickly, i swam out to you
for it's all i could see and the one thing i knew
there's no shaking this off, it's here til the end
so i'll swim til tomorrow as i still will pretend
that i can't feel the pull of the ocean so deep
nor the lights from within that forever will keep
me coming up for air when i can't seem to think
and if i stop swimming now, i will most surely sink
so, on i will swim til i get there one day
when there's not that much more of which i can say
and until it will tire and there's visible land
i will swim here forever and crisscross the sand
with words of mere passion that fill up my head
and i'll sit here and scribble down my thoughts instead

i swam far away from the one that i had
i swam even though it would make me so sad
i teetered and tottered for great lengths on this line
and gave up so easily what for always was mine
but there's no lifeboat here that's far out in this sea
no ships, nor a raft that will come and save me
not a lighthouse in sight that can show me the way
all these waves and bad waters keep the saviors at bay
stick to land where it's safer and dryer my friend
stay to glamour and skylights of city's of trend
keep to shallows and maybe's of graceful display
that never will smudge and that never will fray
yet i swim with this weight of what's real here within
and i'll always have light from the moon when it's dim
i swam out for days and i'll swim, though i tire..
i'll swim til the end of this bright burning fire.

~G.B

Forgotten Blues.

seems like impossibility
there's nothing i can see
as if i'm never free
of what is meant to be

it gets me every time
losing out with every rhyme
and it feels like such a crime
but forever it is mine

and back the same way
growing stronger with each day
and there's nothing more to say
still it's dim and very grey

but it's not how i would choose
when it's both of us who lose
and we're singing tired blues
of yesterday's forgotten news

La Farsa.

As solid as it may seem to you
He stood tall; he stood still; he stood proud.
With wit and charm, standing out from the crowd
Promising excitement and something so new.

Though is what you see something true?
Cuz it's not the same once you've turned around
And what's said low is not what's said loud
And you're left sitting pondering it through.


Can we start to believe all that we see
It never was real; not here and not now
But we choose to go on and pretending it all

And we'll never be over and never be free
By the way we continued with this furrowed brow
And we throw ourselves down and continue to fall.

[ G.B - October 31st, 2008. ]

Pathetic and Ruined.

A long awaited curtain call, that brushes past my feet
The crowd’s applause so loud and fierce it’s stinging in my ears
The lights go dim around us all as people start to leave
And so here ends the final scene of this extensive spun off plot.


A masterpiece of great proportions this play was set to be
Full of twists and turns of every kind that set the stage ablaze
Of ever going, never showing, always fleeing heroine
Cast parallel to the antagonist in this tale of dying glory.


What started out so sweetly in the age of lure and innocence
Began on shattered glass and lies that never ceased to wound us
No honesty and mucho distrust that loomed above like threatening clouds
The tone was set profoundly in the very first act, since the very first scene.


They circled around each other... sometimes here, sometimes there
Causing major rifts; predicaments. Many obstacles… dilemmas.
The ties that bind, the lies that blind that encompass our two players
Are what bore them down into the ground until that final hour.


The heroine was set to run off with mighty steed and stable
But alas the fellow counterpart has long since lost his story.
Desires and ambitions have all fallen short and deflated
And whimsical melodic dreams have now soured and disabled.


What’s seemingly initially a fiery fight to venture into
Is quickly turned into a night of frantic loss and derangement
that lulls you into limbo with hypnosis and deceit
and chances of survival or escape are much too late


When smiles fall too quickly and land on uneven grounds
They’re left alone to spoil and rot and whither away to die
And bubbles of grace and amour from clouds that float above
burst sharply, cold and thunderously amidst the stagnant draft.


What is one and what is two never go hand in hand
Even still if the fit is most even and quite perfectly entwined,
Cuz if one is much alive and still thriving on ahead,
then the two cannot compete with its simple structured vision.


If it’s sterile and expired with a spirit that’s left dying
on the floor of this merciful play that’s exhausted past the hours
Then what point is there to try and revive what’s been decayed
and left lying there to rot with dismay, revolt and disdain.


With the chemistry correct you would think it was magic
How the effects and explosions were set up on this stage
But how things all wound up really do seem quite tragic
Better left said and done when there’s just no more to manage.


But a shadow overcomes our antagonist strutting on stage
And the plot turns to damaged, hostility and rage
First it’s ups. Then it’s downs. Then it’s most always in betweens.
Of a heroine left to struggle; left to fend for her own ways.


Not worth the effort to consume, and less than ever to refuse
To take a part of all that’s game.. when all in all.. it’s still the same
The antagonist has no will to share nor patience to include
He pulls the strings just how he dares, with lack of any sense or care.


A dying man of many gifts. Abundant full of hordes of treasures
Which were once so valued highly; part of her most greatest pleasures
A firmly planted stone; a statue.. with cracks so far within
It’s always been a misconception of the bond that locked us in.


No longer standing strong and full, it’s emptied to the bottom
The luster has diminished now and treasures have been broken
The gifts and pleasures too are gone, all fading into blackness
Succumbing to that inner void has taken all its riches.


As blank as a canvas, all barren and stale, hung upon your very wall
That can be painted any which way depending on the stray he sees that day
No volume left, nothing to see. Not one more thing to spare
It’s all been gone. No soul to sell when your life’s in one big drought.

So you turn to the gains, the sweet pleasures that sing
Though most temporary, they will suffice for some time
And you cling to what brings, sunny sides for a day
And the nights still will leave you in cold sweating darkness.


So you take what consumes, all what’s left there to burn
Though not much, it’s a high when you feel it
And it’s taken quite some time, to forget all your lies
Still you try to wash it over with disinterest and impartialness.


But all’s hidden inside, buried deep down within
In the caskets of your most central labyrinths
That you dare not peek in. You will dare not return
You will dare not reopen such madness.


Better closed off and bare. Paste a smile and be still
Better party away all your actions.
‘Til tomorrow one day.. doesn’t matter this way
All he sees is another distraction.


And yet this parade still does come to a final deadly draw
On a night of bitter passion left to dry up on the walls
Mistrust, distrust, no trust and mere illusions painted thick
Have strangled, suffocated and hung this flame out to dry.


Much better love for her to find is what he claimed so high
Erasing all you’ve planted here and quickly hit rewind
They’ll plague his final day, he says… but we all know the truth
Of mindful games and awful ways he’s used to bait his dames.


No more of this. It’s dead and done. It’s over, gone away.
She’s free of all that’s clouded her for a decade past and lost.
A shame to see the show turn this way, a severe and harsh defeat
Of a movie role that played so sweet to life’s own music sheet..


So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye... adieu. Adieu.
The time has come to roll the credits, cut and roll this reel
The cast is tired, all scenes are done and the way has just been found
As the heroine waltzes past the dark and heads straight towards much better earth.

We would like to thank all audiences and members of this fanfare
Who contributed and who sang along us as we tired and drew out the fights
It was long and was hard and incredible though drawn out far too long in the end
And became quite a bore, and turned into a snore.. most predictable in its own way


No regrets of her acting, no resentments and hashing
Just a slate that’s wiped clean and made bare
With a chin held up high, and a soul that burns bright
Better roles up ahead she will find to fulfill.

Time to turn in the script, burn it down and retire
It’s a melodramatic tale, nothing left to admire
When it’s wasted and used, all is seen, nothing’s new
Time to wait on what’s better, and not partial and bruised.


As we bow down our heads, for that one final time
Last call here. it’s the end of the road now for some
Let us curtsy and wave as we make our grand exit
This fervent theatrical performance is undoubtedly permanently over.



Fin.

[ ~ G.B ~ '09 ]