A Silent Ending

a silence for two. a silence untrue.
a way without words. not shared and not heard.
a vacancy here. so far and so near.
a way to disclose. confessions not told.
repented and sent it. too late. let's forget it.
a sorrow so deep. of what i can't keep.
nor claim as my own. can't be overthrown.
with lips that are sealed. who knows what is real.
it's tragic. this magic won't get past this static.
the ties that bind. your eyes that are blind.
with no way of telling. and my thoughts so compelling
i must turn away with too much dismay
for it's larger than me... and it's all i can see
crashing down like wave. but i gave.. what i gave
never answered. never seen. never shared. no in betweens.
not a moment. never there.. upon your empty vacant stare
the obvious thrown out. as all rides on doubt
untrust of the past makes it all fail to last
but i can't. so i rant.
and i write while i fight
my own demons of what i'm seeing
and i lose... when i choose
anything other to keep me from bother
of holding on tight to this one single light.
that glows brighter still......though it isn't my will.
but to choose is old news
still the same shambled game.

a silence so true. a silence so blue.
a quiet that takes what it takes and that breaks
of not knowing and nor showing
when i sent it well, i meant it
with nothing changed and nothing gained
it weighs a load this tangled road
of nothing there. of this that's bare.
as daydreams grow stale.. and this light it does fail.
when nothing is nothing. and something was always nothing.
it's a waste.. let's make haste
while i turn away here.. and i must now adhere
cuz it's bigger than me... and it's still all i see.
like a fool indeed. dunno how i believed
all this madness... from your sadness
stitch it up nice and tight... seal the doors, then turn right
go on through. don't look back... find a way right off this track.
a lie's still a lie though it's told oh so sly...
and i was tricked by my mind so thick
delusion over reason. imagine it with feeling.
wrap it and adorn it. paint it up and then hang it
but seeing is believing.. and i just ain't seeing.
what one thinks they do see. and you can't disagree.
but i'm lit and i'm on, with my mind overthrown
and it rambles on and on... with hopes and wishes that i'm wrong.
though it's not. i can see... some things just aren't meant to be.
and i'm not strong.. to stay along..
to ride this car along my star.
no, i'm not that tough.. and it's just not enough
decisions are made. to rest it's been laid

to silently choose, to silently lose
cuz i just cannot cope holding on to this hope
while it's all just pretend; i can't be your friend.
cuz i lie when i smile.. and i'll always stay awhile
entertain my own fancy.. while it's not what they all see
cowardly hidden back away.. without a single word to say
i speak in rhyme to pass the time
and coast along the lines of every song
with nothing left to say... this clearly ain't the way.
we choose what we do.. we choose not to lose
we silently stumble so we don't have to tumble
we silently lose.. even though we don't choose
to choose at this cost... over all that we've lost.
a silence i chose. a silence through prose
a silently choice of what i just cannot voice
with so silent words in lines and in verse
to choose that i turn. just so that i don't burn
find another clear way, one on which i will stay
a permanent solution, to a crippling diversion
i choose what's new. that's far from you.
i choose to walk... instead of talk
i choose in silence... wanting off this fence
of illusions that i make... with such havoc i create.
too much here to lose. this is all left to choose.
a silence for two. a silence untrue.
a silence we choose. as we silently lose.

[ ~ g.b ]