this is hard.

what is the truth that lays beneath me
when i'm drowning in madness that deafens the soul
when i'm gasping for air and a sense of direction
what is what's real in this world that surrounds me
when my insides collapse with a slight shift in weight
when i don't know what's down on this ground below me
when i can't see through this cloudy fog that angers me
where are all these answers and this way i should go
when i'm feeling withdrawn from this world that i know
and i'm lost with confusion of what i should choose
cuz the answers aren't easy within me, they're covered you see
i'm stumbling blindly and grabbing at roots..
that fall away easily with the littlest touch
where is that next corner that i'm destined to turn
confusion that blinds .. lights that sting.. and sounds that alarm
all is a chaos.. distorted perceptions.. that cloud up your mind
masking the way.. changing the scene.... it's all such a mess..
it pulls you towards nothing.. and pushes you into something
that makes no more sense to you than it did from before
and then after it's worse.. when the characters switch
and the storyline alters.. the settings they change
the props are all different.. but the lines all the same.
i know nothing more today.. than i did yesterday
and it's not anymore clear.. than what i've seen just last year.
and i'm frantically trying to control my pace.. in this race
but i'm falling fast backwards..and i'm losing my stride..
i just need to get there.. to where it may be
where i can see me.. and know me.. and then maybe
i can finally learn and comprehend what it means to be here.

[ ~G.B ]