I.

I don't know who's wearing a mask

I don't know who's painted all up

I don't know who's acting the part

I don't know who's real anymore

I know what I hear
I know what they tell me
I know what I see

I know how they lie

I know what happens behind closed doors

I know that they show you what they think you want to see

I know that they're worse than the others
I know because they sit and they fake when they need to

I don't know why they do this
I don't know why they're cowards
I don't know why they pretend that nothing does matter

I don't know how they can make those choices over again

I know all about you. and you. and you.

I know what you don't even know about you.
I know that I'm completely perplexed as to how stupid they can be

I know that I'm beside myself of the blurry lies they tell eachother to ease their loneliness.

I don't know how to be that way.
I don't know how to pretend I like them.

I don't know how to lie to your faces over and over and over and over again.
The lovely way you people seem to know how to do with perfection and ease.

See, I don't know any of that stuff.
I have no answers.
And I'm hurt.
I'm appalled.
I'm confused.

I'm disgusted.
I'm a million things all into one.
Yet I'm nothing at all because I don't fit the scheme.

I'd love to pretend and I'd love to be fake
I'd love for it all to be like nothing ever happened
I'd love to be best friends forever. I'd love to be your sidekick
I'd love to kick you behind your back, be a liar, be a cheater and still hold your hand so tightly.

If that would make it all ok. If that would make me belong.
Then I'd pretend to love that all.. I'd pretend to let things pass.

But you see.. I don't know how to be like that.
And I don't love it for one second.

And I think the most horrible things right now about those people

And you can't change my mind.
Because it's FUCKED UP. and I really hope some would agree with me.
Thank goodness for the good souls, that make life better.

You see.. I would really love to believe you.
I would really love to forgive and forget.

But I don't know how to be that noble.
and I don't know how to believe them anymore.